Friday, May 15, 2015

Why I don't deserve the Internet.

The invention of the Internet opened the door to a vast array of possibilities. Anyone, from any corner of the world, would have access to all the information they could possibly want. People from all walks of life could now become educated to their hearts' desire.*

*Provided, of course, that they have the money to pay for the Internet and a computer. So in other words, people from all the richy-rich walks of life. 

While my daughter is napping, I could be learning the mating rituals of exotic birds. Or how to make an oven out of aluminum foil. Or the art of bonsai. You know, really crucial stuff.

But instead, I'm looking up all the national food holidays. I'm not one of those regular people who think that national food holidays are pointless and stupid. I'm totally going to celebrate them all. And I'm going to use the Internet to come up with recipes and to commiserate with other people who have nothing better to do than celebrate National Strawberry Sundae Day.

But I did an even more foolish thing on the Internet today that I really don't want to admit.

Okay, fine, I'll admit it. (I mean, I did bring it up.)

I spent hours (yes, really, hours) on Pinterest. Browsing through pins related to Christmas.

That's right, Christmas.

In May. 

*hides face in shame*

I fooled myself that I was learning valuable things that would come in handy later this year. "When I'm planning my fancy Christmas dinner party for twelve, I'll be so grateful that I pinned, so long ago, that article about how to fold napkins into the shape of Christmas trees!"

(Never mind the fact that I have never once in my life held--or, heck, even attended--a fancy dinner party for twelve.)

(But I hold a faint hope that I will one day be that kind of classy. Hey, I'm only in my twenties. It could still happen.)

The Internet (especially Pinterest) reminds me of that part in Alice in Wonderland (or Through the Looking Glass...yes, I know I could look it up online, whatever) when Alice asks the Cheshire Cat which way to go. And he's like, "Well, where do you want to end up?" and she's all, "I don't think it matters," and he goes, "Well, then, it doesn't really matter which way you go."

(Didn't I totally just remind you of middle school? Sick!)

Anyway. Pinterest is like that. I get on there and I have no idea what I'm doing with myself. And pretty soon I'm just clicking around, repinning craft tutorials I'll never use and clothes I'll never buy and recipes I'll never make.

Well, I guess it's a handy tool for pretending my life is perfect while my house lies in shambles around me.

You see? I really don't deserve the Internet.

P.S. Happy National Chocolate Chip Day!


  1. Chocolate Chip Day? Ooh, I totally have to celebrate that!

  2. Food holidays? Never knew there was such a thing. Sounds fun!