The truth about breastfeeding is that it kind of sucks.
When you're pregnant, it feels like all the forces of nature and the government are trying to convince you to breastfeed. Every way you turn, someone is informing you that breastfeeding strengthens your child's immune system, prevents constipation, raises IQ, and ensures that your child will graduate from an Ivy League university.
(The unspoken, frightening alternative, of course, is that your child will get all the diseases, drop out of high school, and never be able to poop. That's where formula will get you.)
They also make ridiculous promises about how breastfeeding will release all kinds of feel-good endorphins in your body and make you feel like a mother-goddess who is magically bonded to your baby.
Give me a break.
I thought I would love breastfeeding. But I don't. In fact, after four months of my child's life, I have only just begun to not mind it so much. I think I could never do it again and be perfectly happy.
It kind of makes me feel like a cow. And there's that skeezy feeling when the milk lets down. Plus, it prevents me from going places. I'm not interested in breastfeeding in public. (I don't care at all that other people do. But I'm not going to join the revolution.)
I'm lucky that my baby is perfectly happy with the bottle. I still pump for nearly all her bottles, since, you know, I don't want her to flunk out of high school. (This might be a good time to say that my husband was fed entirely on formula as a baby and he has no allergies, he rarely gets sick, and he graduated from high school.) In the past week or so, actually, my child has developed a strange problem with breastfeeding, so I've been pumping exclusively.
And I have to say... I really don't mind it.
Despite all the supposed allergies, diseases, constipation, and low IQs, I totally get why people use formula.